Your ex is dating someone else, don’t panic! you can still get it back

Having counseled dozens of couples around the world, one of the most frequently asked questions is what to do when your ex has apparently moved on with someone else. How could they??! Does that mean you’ve been outdone? Usually the answer is no and in many cases the fact that you are seeing someone else can work in your favor as it serves as a clarity and you can still get your ex back easily.

How is that?, you ask.

First of all, if your ex started a new relationship with someone immediately after leaving you, then chances are they are in a rebound relationship. A rebound is usually a short-term relationship that many people turn to to help them get through the pain of the breakup and get over their ex. The good news is that they rarely last, rebounds usually fall apart in 3-4 months, and you know why.

When your ex gets into a rebound relationship, he’s not looking for that special someone, even though he thinks he is. They just need help getting over you, and they think being in another relationship will be enough. But usually after 3-4 months they start to see the little things they don’t like and the bigger problems or the same problems they had with you – only now with someone they like less – that caused you to break up. in the first place begins to appear. That is why such relationships break up most of the time. Before long, her ex will be looking for a way to get off the rebound from her, and if she plays her cards right, she’ll be right back in his arms!

And this happened to me too! My husband quickly found a “replacement” as soon as he thought he wanted a divorce. There is no waiting period for him. ABSOLUTELY. It even started before he knew me. Later he told me it was because the pain was too great for him alone. He was using her as a crutch.

I was devastated, but deep down I knew he still loved me and there was no way the two of them could last. She even told me months before that she was “emotionally unstable” (yes, they had known each other for over 10 years before we met and she was also going through a divorce for cheating on her husband, so to make matters worse, she it was also rebound, talking about two peas in a pot :)). I even told him cynically, “The best for both of us.”

About two months later, they were finite. He couldn’t stand her and she told me that she wasn’t a person he liked very much and even dropped the word “toxic”.

Whether or not he was—I really have no way of knowing—the point is that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, or at least unconsciously wasn’t. He was a train wreck emotionally, there was not a chance in the world that he could start with someone new without getting over me and our marriage, even though he wanted to believe and told everyone he was.

And not long after, he told me that he was still in love with me.

The bottom line is don’t hold your breath because they will live happily ever after. The best thing to do is accept it, move on, and see your relationship run its course. Don’t start fights or a “heart-to-heart” conversation with your new fling or try to talk your ex out; both would make you seem manipulative, desperate, and needy. Instead, use this time to heal after the breakup by hitting the gym, going on a trip, working on a new project, socializing with friends, and generally living as normal a life as possible.

When your ex’s rebound relationship collapses, and it will, that will be the time to reappear in their life and it usually doesn’t take long because at that point they start thinking a lot about you and the relationship they left! back! By being there for them and letting them see what a happy, wonderful, and fun person you are, you’ll create an impression in their mind about what a mistake they made in leaving you and dating the other person. Now they can see how much of a better person you are than the person they were dating before. Before you know it, your ex will be seriously considering giving your relationship another shot, simply because his rebound made them realize you’re the one for them!