Website Help – Why can’t technologists speak English?

In addition to providing Internet technology solutions, I am often asked by clients to lead internal planning initiatives and then review development proposals from other vendors.

Fortunately, I speak techno-babble fluently and can translate accordingly.

Sometimes I can’t help but laugh at some of these proposals. Why can’t technologists speak English? Reading their jargon and acronyms to excess reminds me of an old prank from high school that my friends would play at a fast food restaurant.

As serious as the Buckingham Beefeaters, my two friends were approaching a young woman behind the register. As she pointed to the menu above, one shouted her order in a language only he understood.

“Crowell diet spank-sniff no ballof, mayon topps tender shed. Caplet front swivel pie!”

And then she gave him a kind smile.

The other would translate: “My friend would like two cheeseburgers and a large fry and would also like you to wash your hands before making them.”

“Sorlay jet-bay, uh-huh, wa-hoo!”

“Oh, and he thinks you’re cute.”

Sometimes they continued for more than 10 minutes. It was one of the funniest unscripted skits I’ve ever seen.

As funny as this was, today’s technological communication divide is no laughing matter. We hope that your provider speaks a language that you understand. If not, this cheat sheet should help you translate some of the internet’s most popular tech acronyms and babble.

*Internet Technology Cheat Sheet:

SPA: application service provider; Provider of applications/services that are distributed over a network to many customers in exchange for a stream of smaller payments rather than a lump sum (or lease) price.

SPA: active server pages; A scripting language commonly used to develop web pages.

B2B: business to business; Business that sells products or services to other businesses

B2C: business to consumer; Business that sells products or services to final consumers.

DNS: domain name system; an Internet service that translates domain names into IP addresses. The Internet is based on IP addresses (numbers), so the translation makes addresses (domain names) much easier to remember.

CMS: Content management system; a streamlined process, utility, or application that enables non-technical administrators to easily publish new content to their website(s).

CPA: Cost per share; Online advertising payment model in which payment is based solely on qualified actions such as sales, leads, or registrations.

MPC: Cost per Thousand; Commonly used to quantify the cost of web page ad impressions.

CR: conversion rate; The percentage of visitors who perform a desired action.

CRM: Customer relationship management (ship); It refers to all interaction between a business, its prospects and customers. Reference is also made to software that facilitates this process.

CTR: Click for ratings; The average number of clicks per hundred ad impressions, expressed as a percentage.

FTP: File Transfer Protocol; The Internet protocol (method) used to upload and download content from a web server.

GIGO: Garbage in garbage out; an axiom that means that if invalid or bad data is input into a system or application, the output will be equally invalid or bad.

CPAP: pay per click; Online advertising payment model where payment is based solely on clicks from one web property to another.

RON: network implementation; an ad buying option where ad placements appear randomly on any page within an ad network (Website Collection).

ROS: Running the site; an ad buying option where ad placements appear randomly on any page within a website.

SEO: search engine optimization; the process of choosing keyword phrases related to a brand, product, or service, and ensuring that a website ranks well when those keywords are searched for.

SSL: secure socket layer; a protocol (method) for encrypting and transmitting sensitive data, such as credit card information, over the Internet.

WIIFM: What’s in there for me? an axiom commonly used to criticize marketing and sales messages. Most if not all consumers selfishly think, “Why should I care or listen to what you have to say?”

*Useful source:
http://www.marketingterms.com

The next time you’re reviewing a vendor proposal, make sure you have this cheat sheet handy. “Sorlay’s Bay of Jets!”