How complementary are you?

We all love to be praised, congratulated and appreciated for who we are and what we have done. It is a good feeling to be recognized, perhaps for our effort, sacrifice and commitment. Receiving compliments helps us relax, feel better about ourselves, and manage stress. Yet how many of us notice the moments when we might gracefully return the gesture? How complementary are you?

We may never find out how much effort the other person put into what they did, their actions or gestures. Even something as ‘simple’ as attending an event on our behalf, delivering a message, making a call may have required courage, determination, shuffling logistics that are not revealed to us. Noticing and being appreciative can make it all worthwhile.

– The best kind of compliments. they are the ones that are not requested, when someone, without thinking, gives an easy and enthusiastic burst of thanks for how well we look, for a job we have done, for an effort made on their behalf. They are delighted and eager to share with us their joy for us.

– Unconditional congratulations they are important, when someone says, ‘well done’, ‘you did a good job’, ‘you look fabulous’. There are no strings attached and we can revel for a while in the good feelings that come with being recognized in this way. Giving unconditional praise is a great way to help others feel better, manage stress, and feel more involved in whatever they’re doing.

– Conditional Praise it almost always has a stinger in its tail, as in “good job, I hope you always work this hard” or “well done, let’s hope the standards don’t drop in the future”. There is some praise, but he feels grudgingly delivered. It can be tempting to add a little detail to any praise or compliment we give, a few words to encourage the recipient’s continued motivation and performance. But doing so can actually have the opposite effect, building resentment and causing the recipient to speculate if it will ever be good enough.

– Appraisals offer the opportunity to be complementary in a work environment. Setting aside regular time to listen to staff members is an important way to truly invest in them and encourage their future development and commitment to your business. It is important to listen to them, what they foresee as future progression, listen to any comments, suggestions and observations that they wish to make. Feeling supported in this way will allow staff to thrive more, manage stress and improve their future performance.

– Listen, without presuming or prejudging is a compliment in itself. People feel respected, valued and important when they are listened to and that helps to cultivate good relationships. Also, being aware of the language used makes a big difference; vocabulary, tone, body language all matter, especially if it’s in an official setting like an assessment. Be careful about using phrases like ‘you always’, ‘everyone has noticed’, ‘we thought’ or ‘if I were you’, all of which can come across as superior, condescending and critical. The use of appropriate language can be a vital component in effective communications, help manage stress and achieve a valued result for all.

– be complementary and not expecting anything in return subtly influences how you present yourself. Choosing to praise, acknowledge or say something positive and agreeing that that is enough, without expecting a reply or similar comment in return, underscores the genuine warmth of your feelings.

– Remember that every area of ​​your life can benefit of you appreciating someone with a genuine compliment. We are often quick to criticize our children for a fault or omission, to criticize our partner for some perceived flaw, but instead of noticing all their “bad” points, we begin to focus on the “good” ones. Doling out praise, gratitude, and compliments is a great investment in those relationships and can result in a much happier home. When things are going well, be quick to notice, acknowledge and appreciate it. Everyone feels better as a result, and you’ll often find that more “good” behavior ensues.

– Why not give compliments? Have you ever noticed a really smart stranger on the street, someone wearing a distinctive outfit, or witnessed a charming gesture? You could comment, make a positive comment, give them a compliment, it is very possible that you will make their day.

When compliments are genuine, well-intentioned, and honest, they help lift someone’s spirits. After all, we don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life. It can deliver a ray of sunshine in your day, perhaps the only one!