The Blazers have their cake and eat it too

I have always believed in quality over quantity. But if I can have them both, then life is so much sweeter. The Portland Trailblazers are hurt with the latter and are made to set the NBA on fire.

Looking at the possible starting five will have any Blazers fan drooling with anticipation of the future and other NBA fans wishing Paul Allen was a penniless drifter. With blooming stars at 3 of the 5 positions and perfect complements to the others, this fabulous five could be one of the most potent to ever grace a Trailblazer uniform.

However, on the offensive side, this group seems to lack the spark that could really wow an expectant crowd (barring the occasional rocker from Oden). I expect this part of the entertainment package to be brought to you by the Blazers’ new secret weapon, “Hustle Bench Inc.”. Don’t get me wrong, Roy can do amazing things with the ball in his hands, but the driving skills of Rudy “Sky Walker” Fernandez and Jerryd “Energizer” Bayless are the best on this team. At the Olympics, Rudy proved that he was more than capable of handling his business offensively, even against an all-star NBA team. On more than one occasion, Rudy made up for his lack of man-to-man defensive ability by jumping a passing lane or providing well-timed help to the D side to force a turnover. And who doesn’t want to see a spot up three ball or a fast break alley-oop with a high flying Spaniard at the rim. Bayless spent the entire summer league proving that he was a man among boys. All the players who tried to protect him were attacked by the Italian mob and forced to wear cement shoes, allowing him to average more points from the free throw line than his opponents were able to score during the game. If those two don’t equal emotion, I don’t know what does.

If any team can figure out how to clog the lane, then these next two stalwarts will be waiting to take advantage. Channing “Silky” Frye and Travis “Easy” Outlaw have two of the smoothest jumpers on this side of the Mississippi (where Travis was born). Channing’s propensity for jumpers has drawn a lot of criticism during his time with the Blazers, but he at least knows what kind of player he is (an excellent midrange shooter). Trying to do what you’re not good at is a quick exit from the NBA. Outlaw’s jumper has longer range and is nearly unblockable with his incredible vert. On a counter, featured reel dunks are always a possibility, although I’d rather be the trailer for the play.

This brings us to the gear that turns the wheel, Joel “Block Party” Prizybilla. The starter of recent years and defensive machine has never needed shot preparation for him, he’s happy with the cleanup basket, which with this unit might be all he can see. With the defensive shortcomings of the other four, Joel will have ample opportunity to do what he does best, protect the house from him.

Enough people have glorified the first unit, I think it’s about time the bank got the publicity it deserves.