Recognizing Invisible Work – A Mother’s Report Card

This spring, I watched with great pride and admiration as my children brought home stellar report cards and received rave reviews from their teachers; my husband got the same thing during his annual checkup at work. I’m a homemaker now, after 14 years as a sociology professor, and I thought, “Where’s my report card? When are mothers evaluated and recognized for their good work?”

So this year for Mother’s Day, I asked my family to make me a report card, to literally create one on the computer with all the relevant categories (described below), and then give me a grade and a grade. narrative report (I want the real deal!). Just thinking of the myriad categories for them to use was an instructive exercise for me; even I didn’t know how much invisible work I do on a daily or weekly basis.

In any given family (or community or organization), it is wise to consider what work needs to be done to make the home run smoothly and then divide it equally among family members. It seems best to play to people’s strengths and use their particular talents. This method works up to a certain point, but there is always a residual category called invisible work, which includes repetitive tasks that are unpaid, often undervalued and, in most cases, carried out by women. Invisible work is denoted as such because it goes unnoticed by those who benefit most from it. Invisible work also includes mental and emotional work, which are inherently obscured.

Here is a list of examples of invisible work:

• Remember to make (and keep) appointments with the doctor, dentist, ophthalmologist and veterinarian for each member of the family;
• Organize playdates for children and make time to meet the parents of said playdates;
• Remember that the car/truck inspection is due this month and schedule the appointment;
• Buy thank you cards for teachers, grandparents, etc. and then supervise the kids as they write those thank you cards;
• Realizing the cable bill is wrong and spending 25 minutes on hold to talk to the cable company;
• Correspond with extended family members out of town (send photos of children; alternatively update family blog);
• Remind children to take their vitamins, allergy medications, etc.;
• Feeling that something is wrong with your children at school and spending an afternoon or two trying to figure out what it is.

Only invisible work deserves its own report card; women doing invisible work deserve to be brought to light and their work openly recognized as an important part of running any household (or any organization). Imagine for a minute what would happen if all the mothers in the world or women in general stopped, even for ONE day, from doing all their hidden tasks? I don’t think it’s too drastic to say that some homes, communities, and organizations could literally go out of business.

So, if you choose to give your mom a Mother’s Day report card, here are a few categories to consider (in no particular order). Each category carries with it some invisible work.

A) Food related: cooking, grocery shopping, preparing lunch, or remembering to update lunch money at school.
B) Household cleaning: vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms, kitchen, basement, etc. etc.
C) Laundry: wash, store, change the sheets periodically.
D) Outdoor: gardening, growing food, herbs, flowers.
E) Health: scheduling visits to the doctor/dentist/ophthalmologist; take the kids to them, schedule exercises for the family, cook whole foods.
F) Stuff: Buying household items (ie children’s clothes, bath towels), getting rid of things (ie hosting garage sales), cleaning things.
G) Community work: scheduling play dates, dinners with other families, making phone calls.
H) Activities: children’s sports, activities, family events, birthday parties.
I) Repairs: home, cars, articles.
j) Vehicles: repair, maintenance, filling with gasoline.
K) Love: cuddling, reading books, playing ball.
L) Others: things that only your mother does.

Honor your mom or the women in your life with a sparkly report card today! Better yet, decide what tasks you can take on her this year!