Choose your words for positive thinking

It seems that every time we start a sentence with “What if…”, we end it with a negative or unfathomable sentence. For example, “What if I mess up?” or “What if they don’t like me?” or “What if I fail?” The truth is that these are completely useless questions. Surprisingly, they become reasons why we don’t do something we say we really want to do. Add to the list sentences that start with “Yes, but…”, “I can’t…”, “I don’t know…” and more.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then these questions and sentences are something worse than insanity. We repeat these negative statements regularly, and yet somehow hope for a positive outcome. How the hell is that going to happen? We never tried to answer them, either. What if you failed? Take some time to list the consequences of that failure and what you can do to recover. Guess what, for the first time you answered the question “What if…”, which resulted in your elimination. Live!

More importantly, stop focusing any energy on such thoughts and instead focus on the thoughts that will lead you to achieve whatever it is you want. There is nothing better than careful preparation, planning and practice. If you’re afraid to hit the start button on that new initiative, consider the goal and the steps needed to achieve it. Review your detailed plan and your preparation and resources to execute it. Also, assess the realistic and specific risks of things that can go wrong down the road and develop contingency plans.

If your “What if…” question is more specific than “It could fail,” then you may benefit from changing the language you use to express your concern. Changing the language helps you turn unsolvable question objections into information and actionable steps. For example, suppose you want to launch a new seminar program and have the content and presentation materials developed. You even have potential clients who have told you that they are interested and will pay you to attend your seminar. However, it’s frozen in place with a statement like “What if my seminar fails?”

Moving forward requires a different, more specific set of questions, such as “How do you measure the success of the first seminar?” If only ten people came when you expected fifty, is that a failure? If three out of ten people gave you a glowing positive review, is that a flop? Each of these gives us insight into the success of the first seminar along with things we can learn from it to make the next one and the one after that even better.

Find out who the ten people are and why they came. Make sure your future marketing efforts target more people like them. Take the three positive reviews, use them as reference citations, and include the messages in your marketing. Learn from the rest to make adjustments and improvements to your seminar. Through this process, we can see that the only way the seminar could fail is if no one was interested or if all the participants were critical. Then it’s time to go back to the drawing board, but you will have demonstrated the answer to the original question.

Chances are, if your planning and preparation are thorough, and if you ask the right questions about your initial performance, the outcome for you will not be failure, and you will gain important information moving forward. Every time you find yourself saying “What if…” stop and think of something positive to say and then rephrase your question with a new question that will allow you to take action. Choose your words to free yourself from the fear that keeps you stuck.