Being single is a blessing, not a curse.

For anyone dying to be in a relationship, I think it’s important to reflect on why you want to be in a relationship.

Do you do it because you don’t want to be alone?

For financial gain? What?

I know many people have heard this, but being single is not a curse, it can actually be a blessing. If you’re like me, I know you’re saying you don’t want to hear that right now. You are lonely and you don’t understand how being single can be a blessing.

I will explain it this way. Have you ever seen someone jump from one relationship to another and depending on who they are with determines who they are? For example if they are with someone who likes cars then they like cars, if they are with someone who is Muslim then they are Muslim, if they are with someone who likes to party then they like to party. And then when they are no longer with that person their interests change when they get together with someone else.

There is a danger in this. This is also why it is sometimes a blessing to know why being single is important. Being single is first about knowing yourself, your desires, your purpose, and your life path. When you grow to be comfortable with yourself, that’s when you can enter into a successful relationship.

Once on Facebook, a friend of mine posted something interesting. She said it’s not about finding the right one, it’s about making it work with the one you’re with. I don’t agree with all of this wholeheartedly. I think it’s about finding the right one. But the key to finding the right one is knowing what to look for. The person you seek comes with knowing yourself and your purpose in life. This way, you can recognize which person will go down well with you and help you in your pursuit versus which person will just hold you back.

If you happen to want to be a preacher, it’s not going to do you good to hang out with someone who’s a stripper. This is because your congregation is not going to have respect for you. They will find it very difficult to respect you to lead them in spirit guidance and your wife is out there swinging on a pole.

I’m sure that before our president, or any president, went into politics, they knew that one day they wanted to be president. They also knew that they had to choose the woman and first lady who would match their purpose. That is why our current first lady is a lawyer. As first lady, she knew his wife would have obligations and she would have to serve as a role model. Do you think he could have won the presidency if he had a wife who was a drug addict?

I once had a friend who has been married for 10 years. He and his wife were having a lot of problems. The reason is because he married young. Throughout his marriage, his wife liked other women and he liked to swing with other couples. At first, this may have seemed cute when he first got married. But as he gets older and has children, this kind of behavior doesn’t sit very well with a mother. He told me after 10 years that if he was the person he was now, he would never have married her. That is why it is so important to know yourself and not rush into marriage or a relationship.

If you are the type of person who is only interested in what your partner is interested in, then you don’t know yourself. You’re just faking the funk so you can get the ring. But sooner or later, the real you will come out. If you become a Muslim and really believe in being a Christian, how long can you go to the mosque and worship Allah before you feel guilty?

I once dated a Muslim. I knew right away that this would not work. I am a Christian to the bone and I bow to no other God. I am not converting, I am not covering my head, and I am not risking my salvation. He told me many times that he wanted to get married, but I knew it just wouldn’t work. We are too different people on different life paths. Being with him would compromise everything I am and believe. I would stray from the path of my life. And the fact that he wanted to marry me was not worth it to me. It wasn’t worth giving up my religion or the things God called me to do.

But it took me being strong and understanding these things on my own. I’m sure many women would have accepted his offer only to be dissatisfied in the end.

I know many women who are married now because they wanted a husband, a two-income household, the right to be called a wife, and many other minor reasons. Now they are miserable. Because once the wedding is over, guess what? You have to live and be with that person for the rest of your life. If when you were dating he told you that he wanted to stay home and work and you accepted that, then why would he change when you are married?

If when you were dating he wanted you to swing with other men and women and once you were married he continued this, even when you have children, then this is your fault? You changed yourself and what you believed based on another person. Because you wanted to be called wife.

So being single is not the worst thing in the world. It’s better than bending over to become something that isn’t just to appease the person you’re with. It is better that you know yourself, so you know what you are looking for, and when you know what you are looking for you know who to marry, and the person you should marry should give you a compliment. But you can never get to that point if you don’t know who you are.